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Once something is said, it can’t be taken back.
You can apologize for it and the person can choose to forgive you, but the words are never forgotten.
Recently, I was going about my day as I normally do. I was having a pretty good day. BUT there is one comment that spun my world out of control and still to this day gets stuck in my head when I’m having a bad day.
I was having a normal day at work serving members until one of them pulled me aside.
He looked me up and down and bluntly said,” You know, you’ve gained weight.” “You’re fat.”
I looked at him speechless… I didn’t know what to say… and he just stood there like he said something normal and was waiting for me to answer. I just slowly walked away.
What did he want me to say? “Yes sir, thank you so much for calling me fat. I hear it in my head enough every day from myself.” I can’t believe that he even had to audacity to look me in the eyes and say this to me. What human being says this to someone?!
Now, every time I see him, I can’t help but think of this conversation. It’s not like telling anyone this will help, but at least it can get it somewhat off my mind, because seeing him tonight, I had mixed emotions. Part of me wanted to cry, and part of me wanted to shake his hand and say thanks for telling me the truth to knock sense into me (obviously this is ED talking).
Whether I or anyone else is in recovery or not; no one should be told this.
How am I supposed to accept myself when people tell me this?
How am I supposed to learn to love myself like this?
