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This week is one of the most dreadful weeks out of the year for me. My heart even knew what day it was before I realized. I have had a horrible feeling all week. That feeling in the throat like it’s all clogged, and words can’t come out. The feeling of tears building up but holding them back.
I went to work like I would normally do, but I really didn’t want to talk to anyone. Every time I opened my mouth, I felt like I was going to burst into tears. It was slow so I was left in my thoughts. I tried to distract myself to get through the day, but at one point I just cracked. If it weren’t for my manager giving me a pep talk after I told him I wanted to go home and really didn’t want to be anywhere, I probably would have been at home, in my room, by myself, making it worse.
I was able to keep a smile on my face and play it off like nothing until today. Today I crumbled. Today I fell to pieces. Today is the anniversary that I lost someone who was terribly close, Marky Mark. This man was like a second father to me, and you will always have a special place in my heart. I will always remember you and your jokes. You loved me even though I wasn’t your daughter. You took care of my sister and I like we were your own. I will never forget the day that I got home, and my mom told me the news. I couldn’t believe it; I didn’t want to believe it. How could someone that was so genuine, and kind be taken from this earth so early and sudden?
I will never understand.
Thank you to everyone that supports me and is always there for me. I appreciate each and every one of you. A special thank you to everyone that helped me out this week especially❤️❤️
