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Saw someone post on Instagram yesterday about how when she was active in her eating disorder behaviors, she would search hashtags of recovery and that brought me back.
It had me thinking about when I was looking at other people’s Instagrams. Looking at their posts of how their lives are all “peaches and rainbows.” Their lives looked perfect, and I kept wondering why mine wasn’t like that. In fact, that went through my head quite often.
Anyone who has seen my old Instagram or old Facebook account, before it was deleted, would know that I only posted good things. If good things didn’t happen; I would post things that looked like it. I would say it was, so that people would see my life is as good as theirs is.
When I went to treatment, I learned that no one’s life is “peaches and rainbows” all the time. That they are most likely doing the same thing I was doing. They were making posts that looked like their life was perfect all the time.
When I stepped down to day treatment, I decided to delete all social media and start fresh. I was making a fresh start with life and did not want to see anything on my old accounts. I did not even allow myself to scroll through them (which was really hard).
Now, I post good things and bad things. The bad things are very hard to post and take a lot of courage, but I want to share my story. The only way to share my story is to post the whole 360-degree angle of my recovery and my life.
Although we think that life is supposed to be or meant to be perfect; it isn’t. Perfect isn’t real. Real life is full of ups and downs. Real life is full of blessings and tragedies. Real life is challenging, but if your life isn’t real then what is the point of living? To just be living behind happy pictures while you are living miserable. You have the power to change your life at any time, any second of the day.
I hope that by sharing my story, it helps people that are suffering from this disease and other mental illnesses. I want to spread hope that recovery is possible and although it’s not all “peaches and rainbows,” it is so worth it.
