I’ve been dreading this day since I started working from home recently.
The day I sit down at the Thanksgiving table once again.
Today is the first time I will be sitting at the Thanksgiving table with my family since I went to treatment.
I haven’t attended Thanksgiving dinner with my family in about 7 years or so…
So everyone can only imagine what has been going through my head lately.
Constant thoughts and overthinking about how I am going to survive Thanksgiving.
Constant what ifs I have been discussing with my therapist.
What if I can’t handle all the food?
What if I can’t keep conversation?
What if I use symptoms?
What if I forget my coping skills?
I made a turkey day plan, but what if I am too consumed by my thoughts to use it?
What if.. What if.. What if..
I have been driving myself absolutely crazy with what ifs.
Shaking.. Anxious.. Is it over yet?
No it hasn’t even begun.
I’ve got 14 more hours to prepare myself.
I’m hoping I can get myself to go into this strong.
To all my fellow warriors out there, good luck today. I am trying to keep my therapist’s advice in my head to treat this like any other day. Keep fighting and stay strong.